Outdoors Built-in

When we first started out on this journey, we had no idea where it would end up. We still don't know where we'll end up, but that is part of the point I guess. What I did know was that I loved being outside, exploring, travelling, hiking, backpacking... "adventuring". I didn't want to be a weekend warrior who aspires to mountain culture as an image. I wanted adventure and mountain culture to be built-in to the fabric of our life.

The term I like to use to describe this is "integration". All the parts of a life that form a whole are blended together without clearly defined boundaries. The idea being that I shouldn't have to think about health, fitness, diet, outdoors, family, income, relationships, etc. as separate entities to be boxed off and compartmentalized all competing for time. An integrated life should just work. It should have all of the important bits built-in so that without thinking about it, your life is complete, full, and healthy.

When I was working full time in Maine at a day job, I so looked forward to our hikes on the weekend. I couldn't wait for the week to be "over". I planned our backpacking trips a month in advance. I lived for these short bursts of adventure that peppered our existence. Renee couldn't wait for me to be home so I could help with the kids.

Oh how things have changed.

We still spend an entire day each week outdoors together. We also still do regular backpacking trips (when we aren't moving - thank God that is over!). What is different is that I am not thinking about them months in advance. I don't spend my lunch hour in forums geeking out about gear.

This past week we went for a short backpacking trip. We literally didn't start packing for it until the day before. The day before that, I roughed-out a meal plan. In the past, we would have spent a week (or more) logistically planning everything. Now we can pull it off almost overnight with minimum stress - like it is a part of everyday life - which was one of the goals in the first place.

I go trail running in the mountains five times a week, and I don't even have to start my car. This winter I will be able to go out the front door, put my skins on my skis and get a couple backcountry runs in before lunch. We see so many deer, rabbits, and foxes on a daily basis that we see more wild animals than neighborhood pets.

The bar has been set really high. I know it sounds idyllic, but...

I was reading through some old university friends' LinkedIn profiles this week, and I started to get a little insecure. I was seeing success all over the place. Old classmates becoming partners in engineering firms, etc. You see, my university degree is in Civil Engineering. If I had stayed with that as a job, by this stage in my career, I could be a partner at an engineering firm somewhere. Probably pulling in a six-figure salary, sitting fat and happy in the suburbs of a city on the west coast. (No offense to any partners in engineering firms living on the west coast who might be reading this! :-).

Instead, this week, I was struggling to figure out where our next paycheck was going to come from. Instead of structurally engineering a dam on a multi-million dollar project somewhere, I was helping Renee work on an $4 eBook on how to start a food buying club (soon to be released by the way!). Of course that isn't how we are expecting to earn our income - my technical skills still play a big part in the master plan - but you get the picture.

It's hard weeks like this when little seeds of doubt creep into my mind. What have I done? Have I squandered my education? Have I been irresponsible?

Or would I be sitting in an engineering office somewhere (wearing my Arc'Teryx fleece) on my lunch hour geeking out over all the backpacking/skiing gear I could afford while longing for one weekend of mountain culture?

This whole idea of building your life as an adventure, instead of following the flow... well, it's an adventure I tell you. White knuckles the whole way.