I took this photo of my wedding bands on our hike this weekend. I found myself grabbing for trees a lot as I hauled my you-know-what up the steep side of a mountain. I snapped this on one of those climbs when nothing else interesting presented itself to be photographed. Maybe I was being sentimental, reflecting on the meaning of these rings, seeing as we had just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary the night before.

Was it all the celebrating; rich food, wine and relaxing that made me so dogged tired during this hike? Why was it that the kids were outpacing me, encouraging me on and not the other way around?

To be very honest this has been a common thread running through the story of our adventures together for the past year or so, ever since Damien started to take this "family outdoor time" to the next level. Which translates to hiking most weekends and re-adjusting home schedules to accommodate what we both agree to be very important time we spend together with our kids.

Why do I find myself lagging behind? Both figuratively and literally - I'm the one always stopping to take photos so I tend to fall to the back of our pack. Why are my kids more keen for these adventures than I am? There are a lot of reasons to be sure and we're working on those but at the very basic level I think it's because living this way involves change for me. The kids don't know any different. Don't all Daddy's prepare trail lunches on Friday night, pack the family up each weekend, and lead them on exciting adventures, encouraging them, listening to their needs and challenging them to go farther?

But this is not my norm. My norm which is based on how I grew up, the prevailing culture and the earlier years of marriage when our children were little, is weekends at home. With maybe an afternoon walk or personal exercise time. Time for puttering, building, fixing, creating, playing, yard work - you know weekend stuff.

Now before I go on I need to say something - Damien does all those in addition to our weekend adventures. He's not a slouch, at all. But I'd like to share a few of our differences that we are now becoming more aware of.

Good at compartmentalizing life and letting go of things that are not in the moment. Ie: on the trail he doesn't stress that (insert current housework project here) is not finished. Energized and fulfilled by a vigorous day outdoors. Patient through process and a good problem solver. Very motivated to work diligently all week; days at his actual computer programming job, one weekend day for house projects and then evenings spent with the family to ensure we have an entire day we can take off and go sweat on the side of mountain somewhere. An early riser and overall quite disciplined. Incredibly devoted husband, father and provider.

Day job flows seamlessly into my night job (24 hour job) and my life feels like a ball of yarn all wrapped up all together. Physical exercise is not something I would choose to do on my own but I will join others if the output required is "reasonable" and the rewards somewhat immediate. A gorgeous photo counts as a reward. Quite adventurous and willing to try almost anything not too dangerous but mostly a comfort-loving homebody. Love accomplishing something tangible, much more focused on achieving the goal than the process of getting there. Find the journey of trial and error and learning from mistakes so tedious and frustrating. Motivated to work hard for spurts of time so I can sit on my duff and do nothing for other periods of time. Homemaking, kiddos, husband - my loves, my life.

Did we know all this about each other when we made our vows 13 summers ago? Absolutely not. We knew what we needed to know and knew that our commitment to each other would see us through the rest.

And these current struggles are just part of the rest. On our house workday this weekend, the day after our hike, I was complaining to Damien that the compromises of married life are so difficult sometimes. He said he doesn't see them as compromises but the journey of becoming one. Wow, I can't believe I married this amazing guy! I guess I do know how to pick 'em.

To re-frame these thoughts; this path of becoming one, from two, is difficult some days (months). We both make sacrifices and on our best days sincerely try to let love, submission and respect guide our actions. It's not easy becoming one where there was two and I hope that it's the best of ourselves that shines through this union.

So I'm going to continue to put on that pack (which Damien prepares for me) and he'll continue to have busy weeks working his job and maintaining our home. These are just part of how we show our love and commitment to one another. And hopefully (I'm banking on it) we'll be closer friends, lovers and partners because of it. Till the very sweet end.

(Love you Babe ~ always.)