Dealing with Naysayers & Negativity

renee's picture
Submitted by renee on

I recently read the following on a friend's facebook status:

I don't like when someone talks about radically changing their life for the better, and someone else talks about "everything in moderation."

I loved this observation. And it's so true. Whenever people start talking about making radical, meaningful or intentional changes in their life, someone will inevitably pipe up with, "everything in moderation".

Have you found this to be true in your own life? We sure have in ours.


As important as moderation is, "everything in moderation" is often used as a cop-out phrase for people who are scared to make changes in their own lives.

I call it a naysayer phrase.

Here's another. "You'll see." Spoken with a certain inflection that is meant to communicate - you must be hopelessly naive about the world.

Or how about, "That's not the way the real world works." Oh, I hate that phrase. What is the real world exactly? Am I not a "real" person living a "real" life?

Anytime you are courageous enough to step outside the box with an original and challenging idea, a notion that questions the status quo or a "dream-big" dream, people are going to say these things to you. (You've probably said these things yourself.) These dreams might be for your own life - to thru-hike that Appalachian trail with your three kids. Or they might be dreams you have for others - to build a safe house for pregnant girls living on the streets of Kenya.

Our own choices that have garnered these responses have been about homebirth and homeschooling (and to a lesser extent home church). Plant-based eating - is it even possible to grow children on plants? Moving to follow our dreams. Building a livelihood from work we love to do. Living without a minivan. Choosing to spend a lot of time together as a family. Yes, we've had people naysay that. And of course our family adventures and hardcore hiking. You'll see, kids can't or won't do that. Oh really?

We have some other plans on the horizon, and dreams for how we want to live as our children grow, that will no doubt garner the same response.

We've come to expect these responses and we don't care anymore what other people think anyway.

But still, why do people respond that way? And how can we best deal with it?

petite cascapedia river valley

First, let's talk about why people are so negative about other's people plans and dreams.

1. Some people don't want to see you get hurt, disappointed, etc

Most family negativity comes from this place, assuming your family are generally nice to you and aren't made up of people from point 5 (see below). The people who love us don't want to see us get hurt. They will point out the risks in our plans simply because they don't want us to experience loss. And by extension, they don't want to experience loss. I'm a mother, I so get this.

I'm not a thrill seeker by any means, but what I've come to learn more and more is that part of the the deep joy in living comes from moving forward in your dreams and goals in spite of the risks. The thrill and sense of accomplishment doesn't come from doing the easy. Stepping outside of our comfort zones make us vulnerable. But our brains and bodies our wired for growth. And growth requires risk, change and vulnerability.

2. Some people aren't wired to challenge the status quo

Whether it's by virtue of their personality (raising my hand) or past experiences, including upbringing and cultural context, some people are more uncomfortable challenging accepted assumptions. As I've come to understand different personality types, I've learned that there is a reason I tend to resist new ideas and change, I'm wired that way. I always find this reassuring for some reason. Especially since Damien is totally different from me in this regard. I feel like I can play the personality card to help explain my hesitancy about anything new or scary.

However, I'm open to new ideas once I've had time to experience it in some way - either through reading or hands-on involvement. I'm not a visionary or big dreamer. I'm a guardian, a loyalist, a doer and a manager. Which means once I do catch a hold of an idea - watch out.

All that to say I totally understand being cautious about new ideas. Some of us are just wired that way. But that doesn't mean we need to be knee-jerk naysayers.

3. Some people lack imagination and courage for their own lives

It's hard to understand someone's courage when you're own life lacks imagination. Without imagination, one person's courage is another person's stupidity.

Humans are born with a huge imaginative capacity. Just look at all our accomplishments as a species. Children are naturally imaginative and curious. But somewhere in our life journey many of us lose this gift. Imagination is something we can develop by giving ourselves freedom to explore creativity. That's why nurturing creativity is so important.

Courage is something we grow by overcoming challenging situations and living and speaking with our whole hearts. Fully engaging in life and encouraging others to do the same. This takes guts. According to Brené Brown courage originally meant to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart. I like this.

If people routinely take the path of least resistance they lose their courage to take action and the courage to speak their mind by telling their heart. So don't be surprised if they naysay your courageous living.

4. Some people have had a life of hard knocks and challenges they couldn't overcome

I come from a privileged upbringing. Born in Canada to middle class parents, loved by my family. Damien is the same. From this background anything I'd say about overcoming challenging situations sounds like drivel. So I won't say it.

Instead I direct to you to recent book I read - The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Or any other book that tells the story of living and surviving hard and difficult circumstances and doing the impossible - not giving up hope and a positive outlook on life.

I don't have the space to go into all the theories of why some people overcome and others don't. Nor do I have the life experience to really speak to this. But I do know that those who don't overcome their very difficult life circumstances will usually naysay those that do.

5. Some people are simply mean-old cusses (usually because of point four)

You know the type of people I mean. Enough said.

chickadee in flight

So, how do you deal with these different categories of naysayers? These categories are not exclusive, often there is overlap. Well meaning family members might also lack courage and imagination. Or have a history of hard knocks that have conditioned them to negativity.

Here's some ideas to deal with each category as I presented above.

1. Well intentioned loved ones

Theses are people who truly care about our health and well being and don't want to see us die giving birth at home or lose a toe to frostbite on a winter hiking expedition. Or see our hearts broken and our bank accounts emptied as we invest our lives in a ministry of some sort.

These are the people that you engage in discussions with, when you're ready. You might subtly or not so subtly recommend books and websites that support your position. Showing that you're not totally out to lunch, that you are making an informed or heartfelt decision based on evidence or conviction.

You may not convince your loved one and you may still hear them say "that's not how the real world works" but at least they will understand, hopefully, a little more where you are coming from.

I will say though, we all have only so much energy in our lives and I would reserve this response - where you actually engage with your head and heart - for those few people who you truly care to influence, persuade or simply assuage.

Do not discount wise council from people you trust. (The best council to seek is from those who have gone before you on the path that you want to walk.) But be careful that someone's fear isn't cloaked as wisdom.

2. Not wired to challenge

Speaking from personal experience, the naysayers in this category have a bark that is stronger than their bite. In fact, they don't want to bite at all. They just need time to process and hopefully have some hands-on experience with your idea. So offer it to them.

Invite people to join your ideas in whatever way is possible. And make it easy for them to do. You may build your biggest supporters this way.

3. Lack of inspiration and courage

Instead of trying to convince people of your decision with your words, overcoming their lack of imagination with flawless logic or some other ineffective means, why not just live it? Inspire people, with your life, to make their own courageous decisions and support them when they do.

Let your life tell the story of your decisions and smile nicely when they say "real life doesn't work that way" and then prove them wrong.

We've decided to be exactly who we are. To discuss our life choices as people ask us, but mostly just live it (and write it!). We live our passion for health and wellbeing, the outdoors and adventure, freedom in education and livelihood. Our lives can do the talking for us.

This is "be the change you want to see".

And don't be a naysayer yourself. It's so easy to see the flaws and happily point them out in someone else's dream. If you want support for your own ideas, don't do that.

4. Overcoming a life of hard knocks

You may never win these people over to your side and that's ok. Instead, your dreams should help to build a world that supports and loves people. Your out of the box thinking should grow a better world to live in. Where not as many people encounter life's hard knocks and insurmountable challenges that condition them to fear, hate and negativity.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Build a world that supports people. This doesn't have to be big scale. In fact it's too daunting for most of us to think on that level. Start where you are, on your street and in your community.

Love people and be kind.

5. The mean old cuss

Some people are just so miserable with their own lives they can't stand to see other people living with joy and freedom. People who have the courage to try new ideas and challenge societal assumptions. I think it's best to simply ignore the opinions of these people but love them as much as possible.

You're not going to change their mind with your words. You probably won't change their minds with your actions. But you are not accountable for their actions. You're only accountable for your own.

petite cascapedia river valley autumn

Have you encountered naysayers in your life? Do you have any strategies for dealing with this negativity?



This is a lovely and helpful

This is a lovely and helpful post, and SO thorough. I like what you have to say about people who have lived hard lives. You have so much compassion and it shows here.

Because of both my upbringing and my cautious personality, I too struggle with change and risks but also believe that taking risks, being creative, and stepping out of the box is the only way to truly LIVE. Your post gives me needed encouragement, so thank you!

Thank you, thank you, for

Thank you, thank you, for this post!

Just over a month ago, my husband and I moved aboard a 45' sailboat - something we have been dreaming about and planning for several years. As we shared our dream with friends, family, and acquaintances, we got some very "funny" responses:
"That boat is going to get REAL small REAL quick!"
"Living on a boat sounds like the most horrid thing in the world" (said by someone who didn't know I was overhearing.)
To my husband: "Do you really enjoy being with your wife that much?"
From my father-in-law, with a chuckle: "You obviously haven't thought this through."
"Aren't you going to get bored?"

It's been a struggle sometimes to not be offended when people respond to our new lifestyle with off-handed criticism or subtle suggestions that we don't know what we are getting into. I really appreciate your guidance to not take it all so personally and to focus on being an inspiration where we can be. I was so, so pleased a few weeks ago when my younger sister wrote me that we were inspiring her to finish her college degree and get out of debt, so she doesn't have to be shackled with more of a conventional lifestyle (job she hates, etc.) if she doesn't want to.

Your wise, wise words are nourishment for the soul. Thank you!

We got a lot of similar

We got a lot of similar comments - just moved our family of 5 into a 1 room cabin with a loft. We're living in 750 sq feet and love it much more than our old house (and i especially love how painless rent paying is now...) but we've gotten so many comments and criticisms.

I think the ones that bother me the most are the ones that come with the "you must be stupid to think this will work - you must have not thought this through - no one who is sane would ever do something like this" kind of tone and attitude. My sister is like that... it's rough. But she kinda has that mentality wherever I'm concerned (and our other sister, actuall)... I think she has never really gotten out of the "Big Sister Knows Best" line of thinking even though I'm in my thirties. And she's also very different - I'm more of the cloth diapering composting small cabin mama and she's more the 4000 sq foot house with a weekly cleaning lady and buy disposable everything kinda mama... she doesn't understand me at all but instead of accepting that I'm different it's like she subconsciously thinks I'm wrong for being different.

It's hard. I was just talking to my mom about it today because I wish I could do something to help her move past that mentality but I have to just keep enduring arguments and attacks because I draw my boundaries and she doesn't like it and gets offended. I wish it would just go away.

Not once in our walk from

Not once in our walk from Georgia to Maine did any of the day hikers, weekenders or section hikers (or people in any town visited) we encountered ever say what we were doing was crazy (quitting jobs, living outside, walking 2K miles)...they all wished they could either do the trail itself or do something similar, some other big dream.

Most people are afraid or have something holding them back....and to the hardcore naysayers, you wouldn't change their mind anyway.



As another note though, even within the hiking community there can be naysayers and negativity in regards to how one even hikes or even approaches the way they are doing something. It is a strange, strange world! I saw this most recently with some criticism to Jennifer Pharr Davis and her assisted speed thru-hike record. Hike Your Own Hike, Live Your Own Life, right?

I was actually quite amazed

I was actually quite amazed on the PCT how many people did not practice outdoor ethics, did not live with environmental pursuits, had not read environmental lit, hadn't even considered the magnitude of what they were doing, and in general thought it was one big fraternity party. It was such a shock to me that as a family we have resolved to never north-bound a trail again. Even people who walked the entire way had a completely different idea of what they were doing and many were supported financially by wealthy families.

I figured we would come to find some of this, but the overwhelming amount - how unbelievably pervasive it was - really struck me. Thru-hiking is not what it was ten or fifteen years ago. Lots of drugs, lots of drinking, lots of parties, lots of blowing money, add to this incredible competition, bravado, and a whole lot of trend following without much actual thought. Ironically, I felt like it was far more a picture of the gluttonous American lifestyle than living at home.

From my own experience on the

From my own experience on the AT, there is *some* of that, but there is enough diversity that you can find your own group/bubble to hike with along the way. And I wouldn't put southbounders in a higher status/better grouping because there are some sketchy southbounders too. As for environmental ethics, in general everyone gets better along the way and people can easily be shamed---trail gossip flies fast! Honestly, the worst people with environmental ethics were some of the Boy Scout groups we encountered. Not all of the groups, but generally they were the least respectful, took up shelters when they weren't supposed to, left litter, burned things when they shouldn't, were loud...the men in my family are Scouts so I was bummed to see this kind of behavior.

Most of the people I knew were there on their own funding, though I did know of one who came from a wealthy background, but generally people were cautious with their money---at least the ones that lasted the longest on the trail.

I can't speak for the PCT, but I can see where Brynn is coming from on this...the PCT seems to capture a younger audience and its popularity has increased, and will likely increase next year due to Cheryl Strayed's book. I think each trail is different though. I've also thru'd the Florida Trail and it is the complete opposite of the AT---no crowds, flat. We had to educate some of the maintainers and local members of the FT chapters on just what thru-hikers needs/goals were. It was vastly different.

Many of the people whom this

Many of the people whom this was an issue were previous AT hikers (of ages from 20 to mid 55's), since the usual progression is AT, then PCT, then CDT if you were attempting to triple. Due to the mileage on the AT not needing to be as high as on the PCT, I've heard the issue is actually much, *much* worse. You can eek out 12-15 miles in less than 3 hours even if you are wasted, hung over, and stumbling. That is a bit harder with a 30 mile day.

As a single adult or even a couple, this wouldn't have been a problem. I can just hike on. I can handle the concept of hiking my own hike, as it were. I have been exposed to some *interesting* people. However, when hiking with my son, that is a different matter. After 27 miles, we are camping where we are planning on camping. We are having lunch at the water cache, because it is 30 miles till more water and I can't carry it. We are bunking in places where others are and I can't really tell them no at a trail angel's house. I can't just say, "Oh, this doesn't seem all that great."

I don't want to directly disparage other hikers who are just having fun in the ways that they seem reasonable. It isn't my life. They are perfectly good people who I don't want disparaging me. Why should I care if they light up a joint directly in front of me, or proceed to drink wine for breakfast, whiskey for lunch, or actually have competitions over who can drink the most and continue to hike. I don't, however, want this image of alcohol shown to my child and I would prefer a level of discretion with drug usage (apparently I'm a prude for this).

When you hike with your child, you are inevitably much less flexible. You don't get the liberty to be "easy going" and you have to hold a certain example. You also don't have a bubble. There just aren't enough families hiking. You are to some degree at the mercy of who is traveling at your own pace and who is already at the shelter. This is not the case as a single or coupled adult. The chances of finding like minded people is much higher. One on one, we found many who were thoroughly interesting. Put those people in a group of rowdy others and watch out. Thru-hiking is an escape from normal life for most people and many seemed to relive college while doing it.

There was only one time we actually made a diligent effort to out-hike another person because he legitimately scared me. The others were just people with a different lifestyle. If they hike at your rate, you get to see them a lot. The other children on the trail - there were 4 this year. Ages 8, 12, 13, and 16 - just plain didn't hang out in town and didn't hang out with other hikers. I cannot directly attest to the reasons why, but I know two of the parents didn't want their children exposed. We directly skipped Kick-Off (like Trail Days) for this reason, and every other family did too.

The difference is going as a family. The difference is having to explain all that to a homeschooled child who hasn't been in the public sector enough to know marijuana (trust me, he does now...and a few other things as well). My son hadn't seen too many people who don't live similarly to the way we do - homeschooled, reasonably outdoorsy in their own ways, recycling, fairly liberal, open individuals. He knows they exist, and at church and other places he has talked with them, but thru-hiking you start to almost live with these people. With the exposure to dozens of other hikers, many who are blowing off serious steam and trying to live a life outside of their normal responsibilities, the outcome is a whole lot of explaining.

We are very lenient parents when it comes to cussing, the music my son can listen to, the level of discussion which occurs around him. He would never be allowed to see where his father worked (at an at-risk high school) if we weren't. However, I generally felt the atmosphere wasn't desirable and we deliberately jumped ahead, and then flip flopped to escape it. When we discussed the AT, going Northbound wasn't even an option. It isn't that we feel southbounders are somewhat higher or better. There are just fewer. You aren't stuck with people who participate differently in hiking than you do. They thin out shortly after Maine. The shelters are normally empty, the mileage is higher, trail towns aren't saturated.

I have not hiked the AT. Jules did over 20 years ago, so the times are dramatically different. I would honestly find a family who has hiked, or someone who has hiked with a child and ask them. I was warned several times by other PCT hikers that if we were to NoBo the AT, we should just plan on not sleeping in a single shelter to avoid the various substances, attitudes, and language.

The Barracuda is currently having a rather serious struggle with re-entry (a whole other issue that is completely different for a child) and hasn't decided about whether he wants to still pursue his triple crown dreams. As it stands, we are pulling away from The Big Three in favor of major long distance hikes in much less traveled places. As one parent to another, I'd proceed cautiously. I honestly don't know if I would have undertaken our family hike if I had known what I do now. I definitely know I would have done it VERY differently.

WOW! Thanks for your

WOW! Thanks for your perspective, it is definitely a unique and different one and there are things I hadn't realized before you pointed them out. I think the language thing is one aspect I didn't think about---I totally get the substance abuse and people who freak you out, but language is one that I don't usually pick up on.

Definitely an eye opener! Thanks for sharing your perspective.

It is challenging to machete

It is challenging to machete your own path in life for you and your family, especially when it goes against the norms of society. Bravo for you for providing a great example to so many on how to think outsideways and to forge such a wholesome, in-balance path that nurtures the spirits of all of your family members and grows such deeply fulfilled people who are grounded in who they are, educated in everything that is important (to them) and who will be future leaders.

Thank you for the wonderful,

Thank you for the wonderful, thought-provoking post. Your observations are similar to my own.

Western society has many advantages, but it can also be a great bore if not challenged. It can gradually rot away our creativity, narrow our view, and lead to apathy or misery. Of course it doesn't have to be that way. I feel the most miserable people are those that are in most need of change, but do nothing to change their circumstances. There are always endless excuses for inaction. That mind-set tends to close off opportunities to expand and grow. All we can do is hope the best for them and offer to help when they ask for it.

Yes, change is hard, but experience has taught me that it is almost always beneficial. It is never easy. It feels unfamiliar and awkward. It can be lonely and isolating. But that only lasts for awhile. Take the leap. Commit to it. If you succeed, excellent; if you fail, you gain experience. The most interesting people I know are the ones that are following their curiosity (as you are doing), molding it as they go along. Journey on!

When we decided to homeschool

When we decided to homeschool, my in-laws were against it, they didn't say much, but by the few comments that were made and the fact that they wanted to see my kids math homework said alot. My sister-inlaw even went as far as to check to see if I corrected their math workbook. And she asked them to correct the ones I missed! That was 6 years ago. I just found out that my mother-inlaw is now ok with it. She has seen them exceling, and my in-laws no longer question our decision. I actually, let them have their say and then drop the subject. I may make a comment or two, but I don't defend myself. It is none of their business, unless I choose to include them. A few years ago, kids did a report on volcanoes then presented it to my inlaws. They followed that up by erupting a volcano that they made at home. They were quite impressed and pressure eased up from them after this time.
I pretty much ignore the naysayers, if I have already researched/decided I am going to do it.

Popping over from fimby....I

Popping over from fimby....I read that particular book by Corrie Ten Boom when I was was probably formative for me to have read it that young as I've done a number of things that provoked naysaying without giving much thought to the negativity.

If you can get it, another wonderful book I read, also at a young reading age (and which I've always kept with me for 30 years now), was written by Legson Kayira "I will try"...I know you weren't looking for a book recommendation here but I have a hunch it will resonate for you.

Thank you for another

Thank you for another interesting post. When I was younger I worried a lot about what others thought of me, as I got older I stopped caring and then as I got older still I realised just how little time other people actually spent thinking about me.

I have come to realise that other people seldom know enough about me to make make their responses valid, but as you say in your article they still comment and you have outlined some of the reasons why this happens. As you point out their responses often say more about them than me.

Of course the above also reflects back at me. I may look at other families and think how can they live like that and why don't they see things the way I do, but I often lack a vital piece of information that would allow me to see things very differently. I have also found that, if I am completely honest with myself, how I feel about the comments of naysayers sometimes reflects some small doubts I have about what I have chosen to do. I say I don't care about what others think, but sometimes I doth protest too much, methinks.

As for your question do you have any strategies for dealing with this negativity? Well I find it sometimes helps to play this nice and loud. I also like to sing along and dance, but that's optional :).

Well said! This post could

Well said! This post could not have come at a better time for me. The two comments we hear the most are, "You don't want to do that" (as if someone else really knows what we want to do) and "Why don't you try this instead?" (as if we could be persuaded because we haven't really thought this through all the way). On the flip side, we have had some dear friends and family members say things like, "How can we help you?" Or, "We are so excited for you guys; let us know when we can show up to help!" The latter comments certainly offer us the extra encouragement as we navigate through a new and challenging stage of life.

My difficulty is not really

My difficulty is not really dealing with the naysayers. I have learned to ignore them, after years of trying to justify my/our decisions. The turning point came when I made a change in how I made my living with a radical act - I quit my job, went traveling with my husband for a couple of months, and came home and started my own business. It just felt so right that I didn't feel the need to defend it, and haven't really looked back when doing something unorthodox. I will listen to opinions but at this point I know where everyone important in my life stands, and more importantly where I stand.

What has been difficult is raising my daughter a little bit outside the box. She goes to public school and wants to be the 'same'. Through the years we have spoken about being true to ones self, doing what is important for you and your family, doing what works for you and your family, eating healthfully, having your own ideas, even if they are different from other people. The desire or pressure she feels to be the 'same', as defined by the culture in our neck of the woods, is great. So with her, my naysayer who matters a lot to me, it is a slow process. What feels right to me and my husband causes her to feel different, and bringing her on board takes patient conversation.

A friend shared this link

A friend shared this link after I blogged about my family's desire to thru hike the AT when my kids are a little older (and more accustomed to long hikes). She shared it for the comments about trail culture on the AT and PCT, which I found very interesting, but I also quite enjoyed the main post. The Fearful Adventurer had a great post some months ago about dealing with naysayers that also resonated with me (had more swearing than yours, but made similar points:

I'm something of a worrywart, and I often worry (ha!) that I come across as a naysayer when I don't intend to. What's interesting is that as I become more aware of my reactions to my friends' bold plans, I'm actually awakening my own latent desire to do something bold. When I let myself be excited for the bold plans of others, I let myself start to consider (or consider again, in the case of the AT) my own bold plans. And that's pretty liberating.

(Of course, I haven't talked with my mom about the thru hiking plans yet. She's just gotten on board with the homeschooling, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that next test.)

"Well-intended" feedback

"Well-intended" feedback/comments, negativity, I am over it. I won't look for or seek validation. After years of living the Ward and June Cleaver "life"-style, without question, I gave it up. Not without fear but happily, all the same. No regrets. I don't look back but instead forward. I truly feel this is the way it was meant to be, the way God intended. To live so differently, so free; working HARD, as hard as ever before, only this time for myself and my family. FInding time for once to give of myself. Time for MY work, for my family and friends. So new, so different and so refreshingly....ahhhssome. There is a different way.

What a fabulous forum for

What a fabulous forum for discussion. I loved reading your thoughts, Renee, and agree that you are thorough in what you say. The only thing I have to add is the twist my husband puts on the "everything in moderation" adage: Everything in moderation, including moderation.


We certainly received some

We certainly received some interesting looks and comments when we took our 3 children on the 10 month world trip in 2010, aged 2-9 years. We volunteered in Cambodia and Kenya for a significant portion of our time away, in areas prone to tropical disease and sometimes violence. Travel was on roads and in vehicles we would never put our children in when "home" in New Zealand, there were no seatbelts, never mind child restraints.

Our family was able to give and gain so much from this experience. It did take courage and commitment and we are very grateful for the effect it has had on our family connections. And having been brave enough to do it we now have far fewer limits on our dreams for the future.

Currently we are getting a few naysayers about the fact we have chosen to have a fourth child, another life decision that people feel free to judge, but one we are so excited about that the slightly critical comments wash off like water off a duck's back!


Anna-WOW! How awesome for you

Anna-WOW! How awesome for you to have experienced a family adventure like that :-) I find it amazing that after all that...people would have anything to say about you having another child!

I forwarded your post to my

I forwarded your post to my In Balance holistic nutrition colleagues. Our path may be on a different plain compared to something like the AT thru-hike, but both are swimming upstream. Your thoughts resonate with part of my Life Purpose Statement: to live fully alive - a position not often found when abiding in someone else's rut.

I appreciated this post. I

I appreciated this post. I have an adult daughter who this weekend will complete the Camino de Santiago ( The Way of St James). She began at Saint Jean Pierre de Port 5 weeks ago and will have walked 780 klms...for the history, for the tradition, for the challenge and for the insights.
Reactions have been varied and interesting, but perhaps not always positive. Good on her, but with that wince, or a roll of the eyes. Always with the unspoken...why?
Each to the beat of their own drum.

Well thought out post , I too

Well thought out post , I too have come across many naysayers especially when I chose to go back to school in my early thirties and most recently when my family and I decided to downsize. Thank you for useful information and what I've come to believe is that you can only live your own life and most importantly as a role of a mother and daughter one must do what is the best for her family. Even-though it may not fall on the normal spectrum.

I love this post. Popped over

I love this post. Popped over from FIMBY. When I read the first few sentences I thought "Yes!" as so often in my life I hear the "Everything in moderation" line wheeled out and I always think "Why?". Why do I have to condemn myself to a life of mediocrity? Life is an amazing opportunity and what works for us won't necessarily work for others. But that doesn't mean we have to follow some middle path when it is not right for our souls! Thank you for this well thought out and compassionate post. :)