As a family we want to avoid what seems inevitable in our society: five people in five directions seven days a week in multiple vehicles. In this scenario the parents are usually relegated to being the chauffeurs, carting the kids around from activity to activity and sitting on the sidelines as cheerleaders. That doesn't sound good for our health or our sanity. There has got to be a better way.

Over the past few years we have been trying to do things a little differently: We have been limiting our individual extra-curricular activities (parents included) and focusing more of our time, money, and energy on family-oriented endeavors. Things that are creative, physical, adventurous, fun, and have lots of room for growth. We want to make family life interesting enough that nobody feels compelled to look elsewhere for a good time. That isn't to say individual pursuits don't have value, they do, but the more of those we acquire the less time we have for each other. It's not about avoiding individual activities all together, but about being more intentional about how we use our resources (time and money).

The vast majority of modern organized activities are age segregated, sex segregated, and parent/child segregated. There is no such thing as a family soccer league. As a result, engaging the entire family has meant that we don't participate in a whole host of "all American" activities. We don't do football, soccer, or baseball unless it is a pick-up game at a barbecue. Will our children be deprived? No. It's not like football is a life-skill required to in order to survive. There are good life skills and experiences that can learned from from playing team sports, but those same skills can also be acquired in many other ways.

Working towards this goal has not been without difficulty. We have had to strike-off in our own direction and do our own thing. We can't just show-up somewhere and have a family activity all pre-planned and waiting for us (well, maybe we can... for a price). Hiking, backpacking, and the outdoors has become our playing field. We can all do it - no matter what the age or fitness level - and there is no end to interesting challenges and new places to visit. Being that the outdoors isn't a common activity for families to do, there hasn't been a model for us to follow or learn from (what physical activity are families doing together these days?). Maybe the closest thing to it would be a mini boy-scout troop... with a mom and girls (and all of the associated issues that dads and boys don't have to contend with!).

Another difficulty with following this path has been all of work involved in getting the family out the door. This issue does have an upside to this though: a lot of opportunity for personal development - whether we like it or not! We are all involved in the planning and the preparation. We are all involved in the activity. We are all involved in the clean-up. We have to support each other in the good times and the bad ones. Our children are learning that there is more to an activity than just having fun, but that there is work involved too. Both physical and relational work. Team work. Luckily, the burden of the work so far has not overpowered the fun and sense of accomplishment we get from trekking together. The added bonus is that as we continue to get better at this and refine our skills, the work burden continues to diminish.

Reflecting back, we have been quite pleased with the results of this family experiment. Instead of being chauffeurs we are becoming adventurers. Instead of being pulled in separate directions, we are being pulled closer together. Instead of becoming diluted we are gaining a greater identity. It has been so much more than we bargained for, but in very good and unexpected ways. Almost every time we are out on a trek, one of my kids (boy and girls alike) will say "I love you daddy, thank you so much for taking us out on these trips. I love it when you do these things with us.". It melts my heart - and, this could be in the middle of a 9 mile hike, grueling up some steep mountain. I just don't think I could ever have achieved the same effect by taking my son to baseball practice.