Over the last ten years, as long as we've been in the United States, Damien and I have talked about moving back to Canada. Never seriously though until last fall. Whenever we'd discuss the possibility it was always a "maybe one day" option. But that path was always way too daunting to consider seriously. And we were happy here and felt it was the right place to be at the right time.

Well it no longer is the right place because of the unknown number of years we will still have to wait to become permanent residents. And so, as we've started to talk about here; we are moving back to Canada.

And now all those daunting aspects of uprooting from Maine and returning to our home country are starting to become reality. An exciting reality some days and other days it's a difficult, tiring, scary and crazy reality.

This journey is not all high points, which has been the tone of many of my updates. Updates written looking back at decisions made and outcomes (albeit small) already realized. I'd like to write a bit of the struggles we face in this process. I hope to look back and read this in the future and say "look at what God has done" in spite of all the obstacles. That is my prayer and really my hope in all of this.

For now we're hanging our hats on words from the book of Jeremiah,

For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Crazy

Keeping that hope in mind I'd like to share some of the challenges we are facing:

• We have a moving deadline of next summer because our current visa expires next fall. We could renew that visa but we are investing our money in moving. When our visa expires we MUST be out of the country, we won't have the money it costs to renew it. Leaving the country is not the same as moving to an different state.
• We have lived for 10 years in a foreign country. We have established residence here in every sense of the word (except for immigration permanent residence) - credit history, banking, insurance etc... After this many years our excellent Canadian credit history is gone and the banks will not accept our flawless US credit history. We are starting from ground zero. Good news is we plan to not need credit.
• We own a home, or rather a mortgage company owns our home, and we are looking to sell during an economic downturn. We have factors in our favor - the condition of our home, the apartment we rent, our location. Still, it's very possible our house could take months to sell (God willing it will not take years) but we have to move - see first point. Renting our home out while living in another country is possible though difficult and expensive. It is our sincerest desire to sell our home as quickly as possible next year.
• Our home may not sell for much more than what we owe on our mortgage. That would make our moving plans difficult, though not impossible.
• Damien has a full time job, which is a wonderful thing, but in his spare time has to also gear up to be independant of full time employment. He needs to start doing work for which he can't be paid, which as you might remember is the reason we're moving, no freedom. He needs to make contacts and get the word out there that he will be available for contract work come next summer, all while not getting the word out there quite yet.
• We need to find a piece of land to buy. We made the decision to build a yurt out of three possible options - rent a home, buy a home (hard when you have no credit and we don't want a mortgage anyway), buy a small piece of land and build a yurt. The yurt idea appeals to us on many levels but is not a straightforward undertaking. There's the little issue of finding land within our price range and location requirements then there's everything else (see next point).
• We have to juggle and try to schedule finding and buying land, giving notice at work, selling our house, buying a yurt, actually moving, building the yurt and not earning income for a period of time all within the next twelve months.
• Our current tenant (who is one the best we've ever had) is considering moving. Finding a new tenant and then putting the house for sale in the New Year while keeping a tenant will be challenging. Losing a tenant directly affects our savings account.
• I've forgotten to mention the predominant language in Quebec (the Canadian province we're moving to) is French. And four of us five don't speak French.

This is why I ask myself, sometimes daily "Are we crazy?". And on the really bad days I feel scared. Not for long and not in a gut wrenching kind of way because deep down I KNOW everything will be alright. But if you look at all the pieces at once it can be very overwhelming.

I'm so thankful for Damien. My Mr. steady with a heavy doses "if it's not crazy it's not worth doing" mentality. His enthusiasm, trust in God and hard work is keeping us on course. Likewise, I am keeping us on course in my own way, mainly by focusing on managing our home well during this period of change and transition. Taking care of details, it's what I do best. Worrying about the details is what I must let go of.

Lonely

We're a team, drawing closer together all the time in our common goals and vision but it's lonely to walk this road.

The road has been lonely for some time now, to be honest. We seem to have such strong convictions or lifestyle choices that, though not intended at all, alienate us from people. Homeschooling with a strong family tie, whole, natural plant based eating in meat/processed foods society, following Christ but not attending church, spending a lot of time together outdoors as a family, pulling away from a consumer culture and the list goes on.

And now this... the desire to have no mortgage, work together from home, live in a yurt in the woods to afford us the opportunity to further adventure with our children. If there are other people like us we haven't met them personally. Sometimes I feel our family has dropped off the map of "normal and accepted" behavior.

We have few peers or confidants besides each other. Mentors? Even fewer. We are not trying to be "different". Our desire is not to be unique for "uniqueness" sake. But we strongly want to pursue these interests of ours and to live according to our values, even if it's difficult.

I'm not complaining. Just stating how things feel.

Thankful

But the truth, which is more important than feelings, is that we have so much to be thankful for and there is much joy in everyday living. RIght now I am holding onto this advice from the apostle Paul to the church in Thessalonia.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

That just blows my socks off. And is what I need to hear each day over and over again.

So, here it is, my list of thanksgivings. The little and the big.

• My parents who have offered to help during these transition periods and in building the yurt.
• Our friends with a backyard pool who have shared this refreshing resource with our family all summer.
• The very close relationship we have as a family; together as a couple and with our children.
• The freedom we have to entertain alternative living ideas and the opportunity to have a grand adventure as a family. Many people all over the world over also have counter cultural ideas but have no freedom to live according to those convictions.
• This beautiful summer, our outdoor adventures so far this season and our bounteous share from the farm.
• The butterflies and birds who daily visit our backyard flowers. I so appreciate their beauty while cooking at the kitchen counter.
• Damien's job a mere 5 minutes from home which pays our bills and then some.
• Our health and overall physical and emotional well being. Life is full and will get even busier as we progress with this move but we feel up to it.
• Friends and family, near and far, who are supporting us with prayer and encouragement.
• The connections we are making to further us on this journey; meeting with a northeast yurt manufacturer, writing opportunities and current land purchase negotiations. Lots is happening behind the scenes that we just don't have time to write about.
• God's loving-kindnesses which are new every morning.

This is a time of great change in our family. The journey feels alternately lonely, crazy and scary. Cultivating a thankful heart seems to be the best, if not the only, course of action.